Privilege happens when you don't have to think of something as a problem because it doesn't pose a problem to you, personally. The point of understanding privilege isn't to trigger anger, guilt or shame. Sometimes it does that, and that's totally valid when it happens.
Rather, understanding privilege helps us acutely see the difference between each others' perspectives on aggressions. This helped the founders of Flux, the feminist hackerspace in Portland, structure our code of conduct in ways that level the playing field so anyone can learn and build new technologies, not limited to those with privilege.